What to write in a death notice

Start with the six facts

Everything else is optional. If you write only these, you have written a good notice.

1. 1

   Full name, and the name people used

   Include maiden names and nicknames — that is how old friends will search.

2. 2

   Dates of birth and death, and age

   If the birth date is uncertain, the age alone is fine.

3. 3

   Where they lived

   Town is enough. It helps relatives recognise the right person.

4. 4

   The family, by relationship

   Spouse, children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters.

5. 5

   Where and when the gatherings are

   Wake, service, burial or cremation, almsgiving — with times and places.

6. 6

   Who to contact, and any request

   A phone number, and whether the family prefers donations to flowers.

Then add one true thing

A notice becomes a person the moment it says something only that person would have done. Not a summary of their virtues — one specific, ordinary detail.

"He could tell you the arrival time of any train on the up-country line without looking, and he grew an unreasonable number of anthuriums."

Better than "he was a dedicated railway employee and a keen gardener" — because it is his, and nobody else's.

Naming the family

Sri Lankan notices traditionally list the family generously, and there is no reason to stop. A workable order: spouse, then children and their spouses, then grandchildren, then brothers and sisters, then parents.

Two things worth deciding before you publish. First, whether to mark those who died earlier — "the late Sanjeewa" is the usual form, and families often find it a comfort. Second, whether to include names of people who would rather not appear online; ask if you are unsure, because it is hard to undo.

Words for the closing line

Most families end with a religious phrase. Use the one that belongs to your family — these are the forms in common use here.

A finished example